Alexa Dirks performs as Begonia. She’s an up-and-coming musician whose soulful blend of sounds has captured the attention of music critics and fans alike. Her debut album "Fear" was deeply personal and introspective, and her latest release, "Powder Blue," explores a range of emotions and experiences. In this interview from the road, we'll discuss her creative process and the inspiration behind some of her standout tracks. Begonia will be performing at Bluecorn Beeswax in Montrose, Colorado on Thursday, May 4.
LP McKay, KSJD 0:00
I'm just starting off, I read that your latest album, "Powder Blue," was inspired by a range of emotions and experiences. Can you talk a bit more about how you chose the title and kind of what it means to you?
Begonia 0:10
Yeah, when I wrote the record, there wasn't like one song. Like when it all came together, I feel like there was like one song that kind of encompass the entirety of the record, if that makes sense that there wasn't one lyric that I could choose that was like, oh, yeah, this means everything. And so I was trying to do, I'm trying to think like, what is the title of this, what kind of encompasses the emotion like the feeling that I wanted, and during the time, there were a lot of like pandemic lockdowns, kind of distracted together and putting the track listing together, and I'm just sitting on my front porch, thinking ... feeling things looking up at the sky, and I just kept kind of coming back to the name and like the color powder blue. And to me, like I sat with that for a long time, and whenever I would come back with it always just felt right to me, but like, within also, I kind of like the electricity of the name like powder blue. Like there's a calmness but also like an electricity to it. So to me, the more that I sat with that, the more that I could make those connections. Every song on the album it just felt right.
LP McKay 1:13
Yeah, I'd say the overall album kind of feeds into what you were saying about that kind of feeling of vintage or nostalgia. That's what it brings up for me that term powder blue, just in my life as well. And that kind of gets into the sound of the album, which is a mix of kind of that vintage soul vibe, a little bit of r&b, we hear some contemporary pop in there as well. How do you approach blending all those different genres together to create your sound?
Begonia 1:42
As intentional as I am, With the words and what I write, I'm not necessarily sitting there before record starts going. All right. I am writing, uh
LP McKay 1:53
30% this…
Begonia 1:56
Exactly. It's like, it's like, and I worked very closely with some writers that I've worked with. But Schoenberg and Mac Pierce, they go by Deadman, they're in production. And we kind of create a lot of this soundscape together, and they sometimes also will be like, Hey, we're working on this, we really liked the way that sounds like, Does this resonate with you? And then I'll take that and it's just like things. It's very much like one foot in front of the other. And then everything kind of revealed itself. And obviously, like, I have things that inspired me in reference point, stuff, but it's not true. Like I sit there and I'm like, okay, it just kind of
LP McKay 2:31
You just get to be you right?
Begonia 2:32
That's what it feels like.
LP McKay 2:34
Yeah. And that's kind of leading into my next question. Your debut album called "Fear" was really deeply personal and introspective. How does that carry over into "Powder Blue" into your themes and, and the emotions that you explore there?
Begonia 2:47
So like, making "Fear" for me, like came out of a pretty anxious place, it was like the first full length album I'd ever made, it felt like a really big kind of like, this is me, like presenting myself as a solo artist, like it felt even more vulnerable. And I mean, naturally, like I write songs from like, a vulnerable and honest place. But that felt especially kind of nerve wracking. And I look back now and I didn't even realize like how anxious I was about it all at the time, I was just kind of going through the motions and doing my best, but it was really hard to like be in the moment because I was so anxious. And I feel like that definitely carried over and powder blue in that I have a reference point. Like, I've made a record before I know what that feels like. And I feel like I am a bit calmer this time. But like, I'm still able to kind of go back into my history and like, make songs about nostalgic things and still share my feelings, but it almost feels like I am coming from a different, more centered place now. So even if there is kind of frenetic energy or, or anxiousness that I still experienced, like I have a bit more of a calm center point. I guess, at the time, like when I finished "Fear," too, I was like, "Alright, I said everything I'm ever gonna say about my life and then obviously years passed and I mean, one of the wildest experiences in my adult life happened with this pandemic, lockdown, and everything. So there was much, much more to be said.
LP McKay 4:25
Yeah, and one of my favorite standout tracks kind of on on "Powder Blue" is the song "Heaven." I was working out the other day, actually to the album and I think a lot of the themes are very, were very helpful there for me because it is a lot about finding peace, finding freedom from your past struggles, whether they be like for me body image issues and things like that. Can you tell me a little bit more about inspiration behind that particular song, "Heaven"?
Begonia 4:54
Yeah, well, first of all, thank you for sharing that and I appreciate like, you connecting with that, like that,
LP McKay 5:02
It was a vibe in the gym. Yeah.
Begonia 5:07
I appreciate that. And, for me, like that song like I grew up pretty religious and grew up kind of with very specific, like beliefs about my moral makeup. What was good, what was what was bad, just like always striving for goodness, and whatever that meant at the time and like, then as I kind of grew up, like, I kind of grew out of belief, but then still have some of those same like insecurity, like embedded in me, even if I didn't necessarily believe the same thing. So for me, it's like a song like "Heaven" ... It's just thinking about, I guess, being existential thinking about what really happens when we die, and through paid not to know either way and like, can I just move forward and forgive myself for past transgressions or to live in shame and like that kind of stuff? Like, it's kind of me trying to shed the shame of the past, and trying to shed the thought of like, needing to be good on like, a very particular level in order to be like, a human that can like live in this world, and deserves love, and ...
LP McKay 6:23
You're obviously on the road right now. And you're gonna be in our area. In Montrose as a matter of fact, on May 4, what can folks expect to see when Begonia rolls into town?
Begonia 6:35
Okay, well, I'm very excited because Rachel Jenkins is opening for me. And they're an amazing singer, songwriter, and I’ve been following them on TikTok forever. And I've never seen her live. So I'm very excited to like, get that. So that's like a fun experience. And I feel like it's fun because I think I think that we both have like a similar kind of religious trauma aspect to our lives. But I think that that'll be like a cute thing for everyone. Also, you know what you can expect my band is amazing. They are a group of very kind, talented boys, you can expect some tasty licks some beats? Me. I get sensitive, I scream. We're gonna have some laughs. Maybe we'll cry. I don't know. It'll be fun.
LP McKay 7:22
That sounds so awesome. Well, thank you so much for spending a little bit of time with me while you're on the road. I super appreciate it.
Begonia 7:30
Yes, thank you.
Check out Begonia’s latest album, "Powder Blue," and keep an eye out for her performing at Bluecorn Beeswax in Montrose on Thursday, May 4. You can find tickets and more information on her website at hellobegonia.com.
